What if the question is not why am I so infrequently the person I really want to be, but why do I so infrequently want to be the person I really am? (Oriah Mountain Dreamer – The Dance)
We try improving who we are all the time. Not happy with the way we are. Not accepting we are perfectly imperfect. Life has changed us. We have beliefs about ourselves that simply are not true but we believe they are. For example “I’m not good enough”. Good enough for what! Or who! Why do we feel we’re not good enough? Because someone at some time said or did something and we took on the belief that we weren’t good enough. Other examples could be “I’m not smart” or “I’m to old to try something new” or “I could never do that!” We’ve become so indoctrinated by the world and what it says is acceptable that we forget we are amazing beings just as we are.
The people we really are can scare us because it requires us to be vulnerable and honest with others and ourselves. We have hidden who we really are as self-preservation but that no longer works because our soul longs for us to be who we are. Our soul is crying out for us to stop playing small, to use our voice, and to shine wherever we are in life. What others think of us is none of our business. It’s what we think of ourselves that matters.
How do you feel when you don’t speak up, or you do something for someone because they asked you even though you didn’t want to do it. My guess is you feel angry or resentment or like it doesn’t really matter what you feel. But what if you said no if you didn’t want to do something. What if you put yourself first, how would that feel. How would you feel if you gave your opinion and stood by it. We have a voice for a reason and using it lets others know you matter. You have no idea how it could change someone’s life.
All the things that have happened in our lives have brought us to this place in time. Historically we have never been here before. We have been given the chance to go within ourselves to figure out who we really are. When we stop comparing ourselves to others we realize we can just be who we are – warts and all - because we exist. Without our past we wouldn’t be who we are today. We are learning to BE. We are learning to give ourselves permission to feel everything instead of intellectualizing. Feeling in our bodies where the emotional hurt is instead of pushing it further down. We’re learning to be still and listen to what our soul wants and needs. We are learning to come home to ourselves and be the person we really are.