Updated: Nov 15, 2021
Forgiveness is a huge theme this month and it is imperative if you want to move forward in life. With everything going on in the world today we see more emotions rising to the surface. People are showing more anger, hostility, fear, stress and an unwillingness to be compassionate and show kindness.
This is why forgiveness is so important. Science has proven that forgiving yourself and others reduces stress and promotes calm within you.
Forgiving doesn't mean you condone the behaviour of someone or yourself. It simply means you make the choice to not allow the hurt to rule you anymore. You are the creator of your life. You get to choose whether or not you live with resentment that keeps building or to release yourself from the hurt and pain that keeps you from being who you truly are.
It starts with forgiving yourself first. Forgive yourself for what you did or didn't do. For not knowing what you didn't know. For finding yourself in the position you're in. Forgive yourself for the survival patterns you've picked up while enduring trauma. Forgive yourself for your past behaviours. Forgive yourself for giving away your power and being the person you thought you needed to be to survive. You are a spiritual person living this human experience. There is no right or wrong way to do life, just different experiences from the choices we make or don't make.
Next, forgive the people that have hurt you. I know, easier said than done! The hurt is real, I get it. Hurting people hurt people. Try to see others through eyes of compassion. We all breathe the same air and we all have a heart that beats. We are cut from the same cloth and all have Spirit within us. We don't know what the other person's life was like, what traumas they have suffered, pain they have been through to make them into who they were. Forgiving them sets YOU free. Not them. YOU. Forgiving them moves the old, stagnant energy within you to allow for new expansive, energizing energy to come in. It creates space within you for something better.
Steps to forgive
Forgiveness is a choice and an ongoing practice. It's not a quick fix as we all know there are NO quick fixes for anything in life. There are a few ways to start on your forgiving path.
Go into a room or into nature. Somewhere you will be alone and no one can hear you. Yell, scream, cry, swear, pound the ground or pillow, have a temper tantrum! Forgive everyone you can think of that hurt you and in what way. Say out loud " I choose to forgive ____ for _____". Be specific. Let it all out. How did they hurt you? What did you feel at the time? How has it affected your life? Feel the feelings within you as you do this and allow them to flow freely. Allow that old energy to move through and out of you. Remember to forgive yourself as well. It may take a bit to get started and you may feel a little silly at first but keep going. You'll be glad you did!
Write it all out. Find a notebook or just some paper and write out whatever comes to mind. The first person to come to mind is where you start. Name the person and go from there. How did they hurt you ... Again, allow your emotions to flow freely as you write. Don't worry about punctuation or proper sentences or even spelling. No one is going to read this. Just write, let your pen flow. Be as specific as you can. When you're finished D0 Not Re-read it! You just spent time clearing yourself and by reading it you will put it all back inside! Just burn the paper or shred it or crumple it up and throw it in the garbage.
This work can be an energetic drain on your system so be sure to drink lots of water and have a nap if needed. Be kind to yourself and stay grounded.